Kidisms

I have a dilemma: I need to blog, but my to-do list is never-ending and I have a headache. Solution: write another ‘funny things the kid says’ post, ’cause everyone loves those, right? (If not, please look away now.)School has brought a whole new level of embarrassment to my life. The kid insists on telling his teacher things which are either a) exaggerated, b) irrelevant or c) outright lies. Examples:

“Mummy took me to bed last night, because she didn’t go to the pub.”

(To clarify, I’ve only been to the pub about twice in the last year and I always -ALWAYS – take him to bed, even if I was to go to the pub afterwards.)

“My mummy’s got germs.”

(Technically true, but still.)

“My mummy made me fall off my scooter.”

(I only told him to be careful else he would fall, I did not push him.)

School isn’t the only place he can humiliate me.

“Can I have this, Mummy or is it too many pennies.”

(His favourite line in shops, about sweets, toys or on one occasion bread.)

“Wow, food!  Oh thank you, mummy.  I am soooooo hungry.  Can I have something to eat now.”

(As I accepted a Tesco grocery delivery. He’d just finished his lunch.)

It’s not all bad, though.  Last night as I checked on him before I went to bed, he rolled over and sleepily murmured:

“I love you so much, mummy.”

 

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