Three-Oh

My first birthday!

Tomorrow, I turn thirty.  It sounds so grown up, but it isn’t.  People keep asking me how I feel about it, with tilted heads like it’s a bad thing.  I don’t get it. 

For me, being twenty was much scarier.  I had no idea who I was or what I wanted.  I spent a lot of time making unsuitable choices, trying to fit in and flitting from one thing to another.  Don’t get me wrong, I did some wonderful things – I travelled, lived and worked in London and had a lot of fun – but I always seemed to be trying to be someone else.

Over the last year or so, I’ve finally started to accept who I am.  I’m in a much better place than I was a decade ago. 

I never had a plan of what I wanted to achieve by the time I was thirty, I just always assumed that by now I would have ‘achieved’ something.  I imagined me with the ‘perfect’ husband and family, a ‘dream’ career and an ideal house.  I don’t really have any of these, but what I do have is pretty amazing.  I’m writing, finally getting my degree (better late than never, eh?) and I have the most perfect little boy in the world and a rather great boyfriend.  So, am I depressed about the big 3-0?  Nope.  I’m actually happier than I have been in as long as I remember.

 

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2 thoughts on “Three-Oh

  1. Happy Birthday for tomorrow, I was 30 2 days ago so know exactly what you’ve been going through even though I am single, childless, no partner, no mortgage etc i.e.) exactly where I didn’t think I would be come the big 3-0.

    I went through the phase of being petrified about starting a new decade but my gosh, it’s been so cathartic! x

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